Hello everyone!
I want to open this week's post by saying that I am really interested in the topic of privacy rights and the Internet mainly because the Web has become a widely used tool nowadays, but many people don't know how to use it properly.
We all know that the Internet has a lot of advantages: for example, it is an incredible source of information and is a very good learning tool as well. However, there are also many risks related to an unaware use of the Internet: for example, what happens to personal details people put on the Internet? Are they kept secret or is it possible to have access to them? The article about Facebook and Privacy rights was really thought-provoking! I have a Facebook profile, and when I decided to join the social network I didn't think about what could happen to my personal information. Giving personal details, indeed, is something that people are frequently asked to do on the Web. Moreover, websites' administrators put emphasis on the fact that your details are in safety and won't be shared with anyone else. Is it always true? The answer is we don't know. This is why it's necessary to think twice before doing such things.
Are there any possible solutions to the problem of privacy violation on the Internet? I guess the only option is to be very careful when communicating any personal information to strangers. It's impossible to avoid the Internet because it's very useful nowadays, but it's fundamental to use it critically. In other words, when surfing the Net it's important to skip unreliable sources, whose content is dubious. Moreover, it's always good to read everything very carefully, the same as if you were to sign an agreement! And what about copyright infringement? Well, I believe the same rule applies! Always be careful when publishing your pictures or pieces of writing on the Web because many people could use them inappropriately and without your consent.
As a conclusion to my post I want to warn everyone against using social networks like Facebook. I learned that even if you decide to delete your profile in the future, it won't be the same for your personal details! They will be stored somewhere we dont' know, by someone we don't know. So, please guys: keep on using the dear 'old' emails and phones!!
Serena
Hi Serena,
ReplyDeleteI think that the questions you asked yourself about the web traps are really thought-provoking. The Internet is so wide that it is very difficult to control all its aspects and all its hidden traps.
However, I don't think that we just have to 'hide' ourselves behind e-mails and phones. A proper and critical use of the Internet should enable us to avoid risks and befit from its advantages.
BTW, as I said in my post: we have to keep the eyes firmly open!!!
And now, some linguistic feedback:
- I'd put a comma before 'mainly because'. I know that 'because' doesn't require to be preceded by a comma but in this case I think it should because of the presence of 'mainly'. What's more, the second clause introduced by 'mainly because' is non-essential to the comprehension of the first so they can be divided by a comma;
- at the beginning of the second paragraph I wouldn't put a colon and then write 'for example'. If I read the words 'a lot of advantages' then followed by a colon I'd think I'm going to read a list of 'advantages' (short or long) so I don't need the words 'for example'...maybe I'm wrong, it is just an impression I had while reading;
- when you talk about the risks of the Internet (2nd paragraph) I would expect a lists of risks instead of questions that can lead the reader to different conclusions from which you intended to draw;
- when you talk about the article concerning Facebook I'd put a clikable link to the article;
- I don't know why but the word 'option' sound to me a little bit 'business-oriented'. I'd say 'possibility' or 'thing to do' rather than 'option'. However, word choice is often a matter of personal taste;
- 'to avoid the Internet' doesn't sound to me very good...maybe I'd say 'to keep away from the Internet' or 'to avoid the use of the Internet';
- I'd say 'contract' instead of 'agreement' which sound to be more related with important decisions between countries or groups/companies.
That's all...as you can see my feedback concerns only word choice!
Good job!
Bye
Giorgia
Hi Serena! I hope you're ok.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you wrote on this week's subject, and I understand why you emphasized the aspects regarding privacy. Thinking that there is someone who has access to our personal details can actually be disturbing. I mean, probably no one cares about us, we are just one of the thousands of users, but still, in a way it's like being controlled and 'observed'.
As far as the linguistic feedback is concerned, Giorgia has already pointed out the most important things, which I don't need to repeat.
I'd just like to add something on your last paragraph:
-'As a conclusion to my post' doesn't sound very good to me..Isn't it better to write only something like 'As a conclusion,.....'?
-I find 'I learned that even if you decide to delete your profile in the future' a bit ambiguous..I think it would be better if you used a future tense instead of adding 'in the future' at the end...
These are just my opinions anyway..as always, you did very well!